If the Birth of Venus took place in my yarn stash 🧶
It’s a silly imitation of the real painting, which was painted in the late 1400s by an Italian painter who was commissioned by a member of the Medici family. With this piece of art being one of the most recognizable and studied pieces from art history there’s a lot I could cover: from the Medici family, to why Venus is depicted as emerging from the sea as a full-grown woman, to how its history eluded historians until the 1970s.
Instead I’ll leave you with the most on-brand fact about the photo: the seashells Venus is standing on represent the female vulva (no joke!).
So, if you’re new here, I’m a huge space nerd, and I have some space news for todays lesson:
The beleaguered Boeing Starliner landed back on Earth a few nights ago without its crew. The two astronauts that Starliner taxi’d to the ISS will remain stuck aboard the space station until 2025 when SpaceX can come pick them up, turning their 8-day original mission into 8+ months. They’re doing neat data collection and space science experiments and (no joke, NASA said this)…chores.
Starliner had not 1 (or 2, or 3, or 4…) but 5 different Helium leaks on its flight to the ISS in June, which promptly led to scurrying the two astronauts into the safety of the ISS while everyone tried to figure out why.
Helium is an inert gas used to push more volatile gases to control the thrusters that steer the rocket ship (ok it’s a spacecraft which interestingly autocorrected to space RAFT as I wrote this which is probably most accurate but rocket ship still sounds cooler).
ANYWAY, Starliner needs to make it back down to Earth for repair, and to free-up the docking station its parked in aboard the ISS. But undocking the Starliner was tricky - it had to be piloted remotely from the ground crew since no one was onboard to manually pilot it and since the thrusters (you know, the things that control how to steer it) aren’t working, they had to rapidly jettison it away from the ISS in case it A) exploded or B) lost control and crashed into the ISS.
In the meantime, the astronauts don’t have enough space suits to get back to Earth should some emergency occur on the ISS and need to hop a ride home. NASA’s budget can cover space exploration, or space taxis but not both. And the space suits aren’t compatible across different spacecraft because private sector competition.
The next time I think I’m having a bad day at least it won’t be because I need space suit and don’t have one or because I experienced 16 sunsets in one day. Big kudos to those people up there dedicating their lives to science. 💚
I never thought I’d get paid to match my lingerie to my butt plug but here we are 🥰💜🦄
It’s been a minute since I did a lesson on the history of anal toys! It’s a relatively short and somewhat ridiculous history which can be concisely shared as: some quack doctor sold anal dilators in the late 1800s as a cure-all for any ailment one might have.
Was he bamboozling people, or did his customers understand with a wink what they were actually buying them for? A little of both.
A few decades go by without much to note in the way of anal toys until, in the 1960s, a German sex shop opened which proudly display toys intended for anal use on its shelves.
With the advent of silicone and glass being easily manufactured en masse, the sex toy market exploded which included anal toys.
Welcome back! Here's one of my earliest, but most asked-for videos: trying a hand carved, 7”, Picasso jasper dildo modeled after what was used in antiquity!
For those new here, I did an entire series on the history of sex toys, beginning with those used in antiquity including a stone dildo!
The full 9+ minute video is in your inboxes for 3.99!
Happy Hump Day! Here's one of my earliest, but most asked-for videos: trying a hand carved, 7”, Picasso jasper dildo modeled after what was used in antiquity!
For those new here, I did an entire series on the history of sex toys, beginning with those used in antiquity including a stone dildo!
Stone, although an unforgiving material, was used for sex toys in antiquity. The better quality stone you had, the more likely you'd display it predominantly in your home to demonstrate that you were so wealthy that even your sex toys were made out of superior materials!
Come back tonight for a long clip from my video, and the full 9+ minute video of me trying to the toy sent to your inboxes for the lowest price OF allows!
I can’t tell if it’s giving naughty maid, or Victorian steampunk, or just being bad in a dressing room but I’m here for it.
The French maid eroticism came from 1800s France where the housemaid’s afternoon black-and-white getup. French maids tended to the lady of the house but cared for the lady in all aspects of the home, during travel and were expected to be well versed in fashions and cultural going-ons which drove the erotic narrative that a French maid is a woman who is knowledgeable in all things.
If I had to wear an apron and be in the house all day you better bet it would look something like this 💋
(To anyone worried that I would accidentally ruin my antique OddFellows ceremonial vest for this video, rest assured I took it off and am nude in this video 😉)
I’m wearing a 1930s silk Ceremonial chain-stitched vest from the order of the Oddfellows. At the risk of repeating myself (since I model a lot of Oddfellow pieces on here and talk about them), the Oddfellows are a fraternity who, have one of the tenants of their work to be to have fun.
I definitely had fun in this thing. 🤭
Come back tonight for a video clip of me living by the OddFellows goals of having fun…with a new toy.
Lost cast member of the Weeki Wachee mermaids🧜🏻♀️
Weeki Wachee, the famous Floridian theater featuring mermaids swimming underwater, was founded in 1947 after a former US Navy member, famed swimmer, swim instructor, and consultant for underwater breathing Newton Perry, created a new way to breathe underwater using a hose to breathe in O2 rather than an oxygen tank on one's back.
The act took off and you can still see the mermaids swimming in the natural spring of Weeki Wachee today.
As you might've seen in my mirror toy post last week, I got a super long tentacle dildo to try out so I can do my best to emulate a character from monster erotica 😱
Cum back tonight for a long clip and the full video sent in your inboxes for you to enjoy! 💦
I'm wearing a 1960s bowling team shirt from a league out of the French Quarter of New Orleans. Bowling rose to popularity in the 1960s with the advent of the automatic pin-setter! There were over 12,000 bowling lanes registered in the US in bowling's heyday - last year there was only 1/3 of that number still around!
I'm terrible at bowling but there's just something about drinking cheap beer and listening to oldies and the sound of pins being knocked over while making a fool of myself that seems like 1960s-style good old-fashioned fun. 🎳
Watch me try out my first big anal dildo toy! I use it to stretch my asshole from the front, behind, and a super up-close view. It slid in and out of me smoothly, stretching me out and making my pussy drip!
I got a bunch of new toys from you guys and I've been having fun trying each one out!
This anal unicorn horn dildo made for a fun little ride who a girl who's still getting comfortable with anal. It slid in and out of me surprisingly smoothly - come back tonight to see a preview posted to my wall and the full video to your inboxes! 🦄🍑
I got my first MASSIVE realistic dildo (I mean, it looks like a real cock but like, crazy big. Is that realistic??) and made a video stroking it with my hands, and then riding it!
Cum back tonight for a clip of it here on my wall, and the full 9+ minute video in your inboxes. 🥵🍆🍆🍆
Enjoy watching me tease my clit with this toy until I'm dripping wet. If you want to see me cum with it and watch my clit have orgasmic contractions go look in your inbox! 💋💦
Enjoy a snap from me using my clit stimulator (which makes me so wet!) and cum back tonight for a nice long clip posted to the wall and the full video to your inboxes! ♥️💋
